Man down, man down!

No, I didn't fall, though that would be preferred to, oh, being banned from running. It would also probably be a funny story, too. The best I can do on the funny front today is mention that I tooted SO LOUDLY as I left the pool on Wednesday night that I covered my face to stifle my blushing and giggling. You could seriously hear it across the eerily silent pool. Hopefully it scared those new swimmers away so I can hog a lane to myself next time. (just kidding!)

Here's the story. My marathon sucked hemorrhoid hiney, and apparently for no reason. I actually trained for crying out loud! Since that fateful run my feet have been killing me. Any long run makes me feet feel bruised and swollen for about three days afterward, and I personally think that's weird. The pain has been creeping up my feet and I feared I was looking at plantar fascitis soon, though admittedly the pain was in a different spot than the last time that flared up. I opted to get it taken care of when it was a nuisance rather than a training-killer (besides, I could ask about the top of my feet hurting after 20+ milers), but I decided to skip the chiro this time--my friend's dad couldn't fix me up like PT did for my backneck problem two years ago, and last year my trip to the Chiro (Who Shall Remain Nameless because another tri blogger loves 'im) effed up my back in a new and delightfully uncomfortable place. No offense to anyone in the field, but I'm sticking with traditional medicine this go-round. I went to see a guy (Dr. Dude) referred to me by a triathlete I hold in the highest esteem, a fast little French beauty named Stephanie. Not only is she nice, gorgeous, and speaks with an accent (who doesn't like that?) she's supportive of slow folks like me even though she breezed through IM FL last year in 11:22. I could SOO do that in my imagination. Anyway, I felt ridiculous going into the appointment today because I feel fine; my long run (the Surfside half marathon) is tomorrow, so my only running this week was the 7 miles of intervals on Tuesday, and intervals don't particularly bother me because my form is much improved in speed workouts (that's my theory anyway). So today I was expecting Dr. Dude to look at me like I was an idiot (is there a doctor in the world that doesn't do that?) and tell me to get orthodics, the cheapest and easiest band-aid for my pain, pay him $29384, and quit wasting his time.

Fortunately for my feet and unfortunately for my 4:40 IM marathon dream, he didn't do that. My gait is a mess. My weight is funny on my feet. My gluteus medialus (I think... not my maximus, which is a workhorse, or my minimus, which wasn't mentioned) is a weenie POS. My hamstrings are tight. My Achilles are so tight and inflamed he thinks I might have tears in them. Both my IT bands are in bad shape, something I was more than willing to dismiss.

"Oh they're always like that."
"This doesn't concern you?"
"Not really--I just ice my knees and take ibuprofen when I go to sleep that night. It's only my right one anyway."
[Dr. Dude moves my leg and touches my left IT band]
"Okay, maybe it is both."
[Dr. Dude nods in victory. I sigh in defeat.]

Keep in mind I feel fine. He suggested I get a gait analysis, start PT, and quit running.

Completely.

"That's fine next week {this is a lie since I fully intend on running the Austin half next weekend because it's already paid for. Same thing for the 10k the next weekend where I was going to destroy the small company chick 25-29s along with my previous 50:03 PR}, but I'm running a half marathon tomorrow. I was going to run it slowly and it's on the beach. Is that okay?"

[You're-an-idiot look shot at me] "Not really. You're going to get worse the more you run on it. But it's your choice."

Which I translated to mean: let's run. Slowly. The long and the short of it is I run races I pay for. I'm not dropping $100 just for my "health," especially when all I'm doing is bruising my feet. Besides, I'll try very hard to keep my form clean.

Now that racing has been brought up, how important was this ironman? he wondered aloud. Because 4 endurance races in 19 months was a lot on my body, not even considering the marathons. {Good thing I didn't mention that I wanted to do a 50 miler this fall!}

No Arizona? Out of the question. I conned K into doing IM AZ with the understanding that we'd be out there together. I'm already signed up for the Janus Charity Challenge. My hotel room is booked. I've been lifting this off season. I've really been running--I'm way ahead of any other year! This is my last ironman til After Law School, my last opportunity to break 13 hours this side of 30, my only chance at redemption for Wisconsin. So no, I won't be missing this ironman if I have the crawl the thing. It's a little important to me.

My prognosis is good though. Apparently I'm with a tough therapist who will whip my gluteus medialus in shape if it kills me. I can elliptical, do step ups* ("Oh, step-ups are wonderful. Yes, definitely keep doing those"), lift, bike, swim all I want--just no running. Oh, and I can aqua jog. I can do aqua jog intervals. I can do aqua jog long runs. I can work on my aqua jog form. I can try aqua jog drowning myself in self-pity and boredom. Lucky me! But in the end--possibly even by April 15th--I will be a balanced, faster runner. May visions of a healthy stride and personal bests stay with me when I'm in the deep end of the Post Oak Y... instead of those kill-the-lifeguard-because-this-is-obviously-all-his-fault thoughts. Because, come on, the Y is a place to promote Judeo-Christian principles, not homicide.

I guess I should also add this is a great opportunity to focus on my bike leg and become all the cyclist I can be, right? Just wanted to throw that out there. I see the silver lining, but positive posts? They're not my thing.

*Just a little shout-out to GYGO for suggesting adding step ups to my training. I wouldn't have considered it and now it's going to be an integral part of my therapy and training. Woo!