especially if they're girls. But, I'm willing to buy them back at 17... if there's a discount involved.
Last weekend I was the coordinator for the swim portion of a kids triathlon, and kids from 6 to 13 come out for the race. I have to admit I'm a little afraid of kids because they bite. And poop. And puke. And fall over. But I was at the race in the pool area last year, and no one seemed to make too much of a fuss-- I could handle these kids. My real race concern was starting the kids; it's hard to tell from my obnoxiously dry humor, but I have the weeniest pipsqueaky voice in town-- just think mouse with laryngitis. My voice is actually a main point of conflict with Craig because he can never hear me when I talk on the phone (his phone sucks!!) or in France (must not speak too loud or they'll know we're American and we don't know French!). We may end up divorced because he can't hear me, or he may end up smothered with a pillow because his lack of hearing me is pretty frustrating.
But anyway.
The race went well, and even my itty bitty voice could be heard by the 8 year olds. Everyone listened, (okay, most kids listened. Good enough for me!), and the volunteer mothers commented on how "nice girl" I seemed. Ha! I was just about to say that I liked kids when I came across the 12 year old girls wave.
These were not children before me. They were pre-adolescent witches. Gone were the bright-eyed questions like "Can we hit people?" from the 9 year old boys. Gone were the 7 year olds' tears because the water was too cold. And most sadly, gone were the 10 year olds' requests for someone to swim the course for them. 12 year old girls were different beasts. Let me just say it was a long six minutes before I set them off. I still shudder thinking about it.
That's all. Just wanted to share. I have a newfound respect for myself because I was on time (in Katy by 4:45 thankyouverymuch) and for parents for not eating their young at some point. If your club does one, you should definitely volunteer at a kids race. They're so small and cute-- so long as they're not crying or puking at you.
Just something to think about.
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7 comments:
Mishele, I borrow children and generally give them back when I'm finished. ;-) Works well for everyone.
I hear you. I've got a 12 year old daughter and although she's generally ok there sure are times when it's something else. My wife was cleaning out a closet the other day and found a little advice book that I'm sure my mom or her mom gave me when our daughter was born. The book was called something like "A Father's Guide to Girl's." My wife opened it to a random page that read: "Remember when talking to a 13 year old girl for all intents and purposes you are talking to a fruitcake." That is just too funny because our cake is definitely in the oven and the timer is about to go off. Oh the joy!
Even a fruitcake understands the Nytro Game Face. Get one. Use it!
(12 is only 2 years away for Superpounce. I'm dreading it.)
My second princess just turned 12. Now I'm worried.... again.
Stay tuned...
"They're so small and cute--so long as they're not shooting their pooper at you."
Parenting with you should be interesting, that's for sure.
I'm impressed that you even volunteered to work with kids. I'd rather stand back and watch and not have to interact with them. Fake smiling is about all I can stand doing with them.
mine are 5, but I know they're not getting younger, dangit.
I need that advice book, just so I can remember the torture I put my own parents through...
You need to get a Mom Voice. The Mom Voice starts from the uterus and builds power on its way out your throat. Sometimes you can use mom voice in just a whisper and it too is effective - it's in the choice of words ("do you want to eat ice cream ever again? Then stop that right now.")
My kids hear the Mom Voice from their toes. It speaks to their inner whelp and says Put That Down Right Now Or Your Butt Will Hurt.
Used sparingly, it can be quite effective.
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